We all have experienced moments we would love to eat our foot than apologize for a less thought out decision, some humble pie. We said something ridiculous. We did something inconsiderate. Was it an uncontrollable impulse? If our hindsight is 20/20, which typically is not, then we would see that the impulse just needed a little curiosity to see where it came from. We all want to bury our heads in the sand at one time or another, so why does it seem so foreign to talk about it? The way we view ourselves is rooted in our well nurtured past. Our thoughts, feelings, and decisions all stem from that past. So how is it possible to break down these knee jerk reactions? This remedy only calls for time and attention and a little check in with all of us to remind you that it is totally okay to need a check in! The more you practice the faster you can trace the lines to where these lingering or ignored regrets came from. This time and attention, is in its own way of parenting yourself. The best part is you can nurture yourself however you would like, where as that wasn’t the case before. We can ask ourselves questions like, when the first domino fell? We ask, "Who pushed the domino?" We gain clarity and insight from our very own mind with all these unexplored processes.
I touched on curiosity last week and our conversation this week goes hand and hand with curiosity. Controlling your thoughts can seem like an impossible uphill battle. It does take slowing down, breaking down, and healing. All of those concepts deserve their own isolated conversation yet they always intermingle no matter which way we start. These are struggles each and everyone of us have. We of course can ignore them and wonder why we seem to always run into roadblocks and feel insanity muddled down by so many defeats. You can feel crazy with awesome amounts of success but what feels successful about getting the same useless results. Regret stems from our mind conceptualizing time. We never get that time back and yet we still have nothing to show for the time loss. So why do we all do this? Do we subconsciously enjoy the desire to put our foot in our mouth and hide? What do we gain from ignoring? What should we explore?
I am a huge promoter of CBT therapy to help piece together our past along with being a great tool for setting up our future expectations. It puts you accurately in the present moment with no control over change but complete control over your view. Remember that to cut down a tree we must have an ax. If you would like to get it done faster with less energy exploited then we must sharpen that ax. The ax is us and we need sharpened to utilize our time effectively. It is easier to stay sharp than it is to get sharp.
The premise of CBT therapy is to explore by questioning your thoughts. We see so many applications that exemplify its effectiveness. Question your thoughts and you will get answers. Your thoughts create feelings, your feelings create behavior, your behaviors reinforce your thoughts. It takes humility to ask such a question. It is a strategy that invites your ego to take a seat for a little bit, reminding it that it will have its turn again. "Thank you for your service but go away until another day." It helps you realize that there is a lot going on so slow down and don't make a decision quite yet. This humble pie will help you see that life is too short to react to everything. It is too unpredictable to attempt control. Ultimately if the thought seems to drain your energy...get your toolbox out. Get some help and keep working the tools until you master them. Slow down, recollect, explore. We all deserve crazy success in our endeavors from this sought after personal growth.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is a type of talk therapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative thoughts and behaviors. The following are the basics of CBT therapy:
Identify negative thoughts: The therapist works with the client to identify negative or distorted thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes that contribute to their distress.
Challenge negative thoughts: The therapist helps the client examine the evidence for and against their negative thoughts and beliefs, and encourages them to develop a more balanced and realistic perspective.
Replace negative thoughts: The therapist helps the client develop new, positive thoughts and beliefs to replace the negative ones.
Behavioral activation: The therapist helps the client identify and engage in pleasurable and meaningful activities, which can help alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Exposure therapy: The therapist helps the client confront and overcome their fears through gradual exposure to the feared situation or object.
Homework: The therapist assigns homework between sessions to help the client practice and reinforce the skills and techniques learned in therapy.
Collaboration: CBT is a collaborative process between the therapist and the client. The therapist provides guidance and support, but the client is responsible for actively participating in their own treatment.
Overall, CBT is a short-term, structured approach to therapy that has been shown to be effective for a range of mental health concerns, including anxiety disorders, depression, and PTSD.
