This week is fun and going to be jam packed with truths that you might run with agreement or run away from. You are free to do any because that only let's me love you for who you are even more. We are all wire with stress responses. You've heard them all... Fight or Flight right? Well now there also establishing more factors with research like fawn & freeze. This is exceptional findings considering our ability to discover and define social responses. It is important that we recognize what emotions are. They are your body communicating with you. Feelings generate chemicals in your body. They are a REAL thing no matter where on the spectrum of emotions you are experiencing. Recognizing the emotion we are feeling, evaluating its purpose relative to our circumstances, and deciding whether to recreate it is what emotional intelligence is all about. You have the freedom to choose what to explore that generated the emotion. Remember once you make a decision you lose the freedom of choice so evaluate and be sure that you want the ripple effect that your decision causes.
I wish Anger was that simple to only define it as a Fight response but well just like last week when discussing fear we must acknowledge that there is a spectrum. Anger is one that seems to be assumed that any anger is bad emotion but actually can be an extremely useful tool for the body to use. I detest when emotions are described as good or bad. These types of lines re rarely drawn when having conversations with those that are high in emotional intelligence. If someone is angry they are communicating. They are not stealing your "safe" space. They could be revealing a point of view that you didn't necessarily consider.
So let's evaluate some different scenarios and you tell me if one is healthy use of anger and which one is ill balanced. Two kids are playing in the sand box, one takes the others toy which turns into the other one taking it back and hitting the OG of the situation. Which is to blame? How do we address these types of situations. Let's break down the emotions created. When anything you have is taken you have every right to be angry. That anger is justified right? The retaliation is the moment when your anger is taken too far. Anger is at a healthy justified standing point when it inclines you to walk away. When we use that emotion to retaliate that is a decision past the justified emotion. When we use our emotions to cause an expense then it quickly becomes what we all refer to as drama. The domino may have fallen with what you lost but the effects were continued by your decision to continue to engage. Anger does influence our available choices but it does not necessarily make the decision to retaliate. Let's break that down a little further using an amazing nugget of truth I picked up from a friend my Husband and I made over the weekend. He stated in our training that there is so much freedom in choice but once the decision is made, the freedom is lost. I frantically searched for my phone to document such profound wisdom! So you have the choice to pursue but what happens when you make the decision to retaliate? What happens when you make the decision to walk away? Those are the questions one has every right to ask. Now let me repeat that ANGER is a healthy emotion to feel. It is driven by passion and usually experience. No matter what level of experience you have when something feels as if taken away and it truly means something to you....your going to be angry. So explore your options. Explore your reality then make a decision to continue forward with the preparation and confidence in the life you are curating for you self.